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Poster: Boudica Date: Aug 29, 2007 5:29am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Double standards (Non Dead)

I never wanted 'this crap' to start in the first place.
I only ever posted about music, thats all I wanted to do. Because I adore music. I am a musician (in a very, very modest way and strictly for my own enjoyment. My son is a musician too, I come from a musical family).

I have always ignored the more offensive posts - the ones generously sprinkled with the 'F' word (which I hate), the racist ones, the sexist ones, the homophobic ones etc.

Then one day a nasty little twerp (and I struggle to use the word 'man' here) decided to conduct a nasty campaign against me for no other reason than his own insecurity. I walked away from it.

I followed the words of support and advice that the nicer people here gave me, I watched from the sidelines until it all died down and then gave it a second chance. I started to post again because I won't be bullied ! (and I admit my first post was to do with Daniel's music and not the Grateful Dead). Immediately I was abused again.

I even apologised to this person (for quite rightly referring to him as a 'moron') and proposed a new start. Things were fine for a short while, but then last Saturday when I posted a link to one of my favourite audience recordings, 'sel2ims' replied (actually this guy has been nothing but civilised in my humble opinion, if somewhat eccentric - but then I am British and I love eccentric).

Guess what tho`? right on cue out comes the fruitcake again, spitting venom. Rob, bless him, stands up for me, cue more abuse from the fruitcake.

I then announce that I am changing my screen name (to match my mood) -

Because if I am going to stay here and post, then I reserve the right to defend myself against vermin like 'richbutnotwealthy'.
Once again I become Ms Bad Person (oh yes, I must be '2').

Now the double standard -
It seems perfectly OK for you guys to slag each other off and respond in an undignified way and it's all a big blokey laugh.
But if a woman should get feisty and defend herself, then hands get thrown up in horror and the cries of 'stop all this now' start up (witness the response to DancinBears getting to the end of her tether recently).

More stuff -

1) Facts are the things we really know (e.g. we need food, air, water to exist).

2) Opinions are peoples thoughts and ideas about stuff. Sometimes opinions concur with facts, sometimes they don't.

3) Opinions presented as facts are still just opinions until verified as factual.

So in summary -
Thank you to 'Uncle Hulka' for this (it is very much a fact):

In my opinion he did add some substance there.

If 'richbutnotwealthy' has got any cojones at all, he will stop the abuse and leave me alone.
If he leaves me alone, I will leave him alone.
He may even evolve his way up the food chain and apologise to me for his unnecessary abuse. Until then, I reserve the right to give him as good as I get (with a little bit of interest added, just for the hassle of it all).

I have only ever posted as 'Stephanie Brown' and now 'Boudica'

And another thing -

Big hugs !

This post was modified by Boudica on 2007-08-29 12:29:42

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Poster: Dancinbears Date: Aug 29, 2007 3:40am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Thank you Christopher

hi stephanie- :)
good for you girlfriend! double standards is right!

I woke this morning with a new perspective.
I forgot for a second in my anger that there are real people behind the screen names. real people sitting at a keyboard. someone real with feelings.

GOP you got all of my anger that has been building up on this forum slowly for 10 months, rolled up into one post to you. I'm sorry that I did not respond to you privately. I am also sorry you did not respond to me privately, and let me know how you were feeling as well. I used to teach 4th grade students and we always would say to them "there's another way to handle this. find the other way." I forgot my own lesson. I sincerely hope that I did not ruin the forum for you completely. you are a well respected member here. once I am gone and forgotten about, the music will rise to the top again.

Christopher, I cannot express to you enough how much last night helped me. thank you. It was very nice getting to finally talk to you, and I look forward to doing so again. You made me really smile with your PM at deadhook. how did you ever get the emotioncons to go in a circle like that!?! very cool! my next PM to you I'm going to try and copy that!

I just wanted to tell you, just to be yourself. the rest will come in time. of this I am sure. It's time for me to go home. but you'll know where to find me. :)

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Poster: Boudica Date: Aug 29, 2007 4:50am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Don't forget ...

Hi Dancin'

I'm so very glad that you are OK - Cool bananas !

Don't forget:

"You are beautiful in every single way
Yes words can't bring you down"

Christina Aguilera

And as someone else once said:

"Turn On Your Light!"

Now I can't for the life of me recall who, but I'm sure it was somebody very important :-)

Big hugs

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Poster: ghostofpig Date: Aug 29, 2007 5:36am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Thank you Christopher

email being very belatedly sent.

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Poster: Boudica Date: Aug 29, 2007 5:39am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Thank you Christopher

Well Bill Melater !